route to my shoes

2009-08-31T02:04:00.000+08:00

MOVED TO ONSUGAR.
yeayyyy.
munyra-moxie.onsugar.com
bbye bloggerrrr, adios.

Atleast we still have our "FIRST"

2009-08-30T16:39:00.006+08:00

for friday, had a fantabulous day with smellymonty.

so the initial plan was to break fast at geylang.
was craving for NASI GORENG SEAFOODDDDDDDD !
pfft !
but didn't even smell it.
sheeshhhhh !
he came to my place at ard 4plus and waited for me to touch-up.
then had a call from mother that i had to break fast at home with lil sis.
so altogether we break fast at HOMEEEEEEEEEE !
there goes my nasi goreng seafood. -melayanggg
after break fast at home then me and smellymonty leap down to geylang.

walawey, that one another paragraph.
headache sia go there.
ala, every year also the same.
go there confirm headache and me, W A N T T O C R Y.
BUTBUTBUT, this year a lil different for me.
WHY ?
this is our first time going to geylang together after coming to 6yrs of our relationship.
FIRST TIME !
FIRST TIME yknow
OMG ! we still have "OUR FIRST" !
.____.
arrived at geylang, we walk like sotong.
clueless of where we're heading.
the place is drowned with minahs and mats.
E V E R Y W H E R E
intention to go geylang was to look at the stuffs but instead we were focusing too much on squeezing ourselves to the other side.
imagine the cramp-ness ?
oh god, i feel like swimming back home as soon as i grab my ayam percik, candy floss, burger.
thought i was the only one suffering, monty too.
as soon as we grab my 'feast'
he sent me home.

THANK GOD

B L U N T

2009-08-28T14:06:00.002+08:00

yesterday, again was treated like an alien in ite ang mo kio.
WTH TO THEIR FACES !
monty was released late and I HAD TO SUFFER. thanks ah zack !
the guys and girls were really acting like hooligans man. SERIOUSLY !
had to stick my butt and suffer for a nice 45 MINUTES.
when he arrived, it was his turn to grab me and run. -surrounded by a few guys mah
(member jealous lah)
hahaha

grab some bites then just lay around.
My description for yesterday was B L U N T

2009-08-26T20:58:00.001+08:00

I'm just so mundane to tears today.
I want to just get out and meet my cliques lah chibs.
darn, i just don't have that much time.
i spent tonnes of hours sleeping.
owells, actually was making full use of the first day of holidays by spending quality time with scandal, katil.
hopping with joy for tomorrow, fetching my smellymonty AGAIN at his creepy school.
just wanna grab him and GO GO GO. RUN !
ok so today, sleeep then leap to work. OH GOD !
Is life that tormenting and low for me ?
I suddenly realise, the life i led is darn low !
oh sheesh,
M U N D A N E is the description for today.

2009-08-26T20:18:00.000+08:00

It's been donkey weeks since i've updated.
well, been quite busy with exams and outing so my time is so limited for updates.
So here goes with the latest.
Alas, school holidays is finally finally here.
I so have been waiting for it to crawl and here it is, ON MY LAP.
I have yet to plan on how i'm gonna spent it.
guess will leave it unplanned.

yesterday, after my programming ut, straight away leap to monty's school to fetch him.
The place was so alien to me and i guess i was an alien to the students there too.
They kept glaring at me like i was some kind of red indian that just arrived on a place named S I N G A P O R E.
WTH ??
i arrived and stick my butt on a bench nicely.
i stared at the surroundings, was wondering whether monty was anywhere near me or not and actually yes, i sat right beside his class without me realizing. haha
After he's done, pull him out of that creepy school straight to my students place.
puase puase also have to teach. -siakens
he waited.

After all done, jumped to my place to grab kfc for break fast.
that's basically my day yesterday.

2009-08-11T08:55:00.004+08:00

How i celebrated my national day ?
simple.
Photo-takingggggg with bbylove at changy.
Initially we argue, cos i dress-up for fireworks but end up problems cropped up
and we had to go changy beach.
For attention sake, i threw tantrums and keep on blabbering.
Monty had to find solutions to cheer me up, padan muke.
._.
He bought for me my favourite snacks and peach tea to shut me up.
when we reach there, we find a spot and instantaneously start phototaking !
It was a pleasant activity for us
Makes our relationship more taut.

The pictures are uploaded in facebook. Check em' out horrrrr. =)

2009-07-31T08:39:00.002+08:00

down with a high fever and tonsillitis-throat infection.
What the hell !

2009-07-21T09:09:00.002+08:00

HAPPY B I R T H D A Y
muneeraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

2009-07-19T00:48:00.009+08:00

Today was just the norm lepak day with monty.
Accompanied by my guitar so decided to duet with monty.
hurhur ..
After trying and trying and trying, alas songs was successfully recorded.
It's jiwang which i don't quite favour but i like this lyrics.
haha
i'm posting it but i'm truly sorry if our voice sounds crappy.
worn-out lerrs.
ok, here goes .....

Menanti kepulanganmu(duet)-zack & neera

Dikaulah harapan(duet)-Zack & Neera

more of his songs or full version http://www.imeem.com/people/dpiGoA5 -just click on his playlist

2009-07-06T21:27:00.007+08:00

Even before i'm typing this, i'm so laughing my ass off just by scanning through the visuals that will be up in like a few seconds after you readers read this.
I'm a super frogger sia.
haha
-perangai cheebai siak muneera
The whole freaking day in school, i watch movie sia and i totally decided that it was darn mundane too SO this cheebai which is also known as me, decided to take foolish pictures and i mean REALLY REALLY REALLY
maybe not foolish but SICK pictures with my "bitch"
or "pimp" ?
hahahaha.
nice shots and NICE POSE.
i'll only post my 2 favourites or you call it e x c l u s i v e ?
NOW.......

COME NEARER

LOOK

STARE

DON'T BLINK

IMAGINE

thennnnnn .. wait for it .. wait .. its cominggggg ..

you've been labelled, SICKOS !
-___-

2009-07-06T09:10:00.002+08:00

yesterday, family day.
after donkey months not rocking out together, we went takashimaya yesterday.
surprisingly, it was fun cos problem striking lately has drifted our family apart.
i bought tonnes of mee maggi goreng- enak siaaaa.
my stupid fingers lazy to type siaaa so BYE LAHHHHH !

2009-07-03T08:49:00.006+08:00

On 30th june, went out with baby boo, MONTYYYYYY !
government money so we jollyyyyyy.
monty fetch me near my place then accompany me home to wait for me to change.
at around 5plus, we shoot off to eastpoint mall.
monty change to a new number for me cos
he PROMISED to start a new life starting from changing his number first.
Now its only me and his family.
No girls and no unwanted friends.
After all done, head down to rock in bugis.
MOVIE TIME !
midnight movie with boooo.
munch at my favourite kopitiam in bugis, TONG SENGGGG.
den he head to my place and lepak all morningggg -ton
at 4am, the 2 sleepyhead, go 711 to buy food cos my tummy rumbling then he grab me something to munch.
the morning breeze, the sound of the crispy leaves and holding his hands was all i need that night.
he took care of me real well the whole night.
REAL WELL.
thanks for spending 3/4 of your money just to cater to my needs monty.
I LOVE YOU PAPA.

2009-06-28T22:47:00.002+08:00

GREAT !
Now everywhere i go,
Things i do,
are being monitored.
I can't go out with freedom.
shithead !
STUPID FAMILY !
I can't meet monty anymore.
Have to do it slyly.
GODDDD !

2009-06-27T18:55:00.007+08:00

I am totally pressurized.
Everday is tears for me.
I'm torn.
Not with monty.
He's altering a lot since that nightmare that befalls him recently
though a lot of his past dark secrets is still haunting
and tearing me,
he's slowly proving to me.
I'm trying to move on with him without that dark secret ruining everything.
To add to my misery,
I can't be with the man i love for ETERNITY.
I totally don't have a say in this family.
I detest being an ARAB GIRL.
I so do.
Being an arab, you have the features but you don't have the last say.
Everything is already decided for you and you can't change that fact.
I can't even be happy with a guy even if it could last for a while.
Why can't they accept him ?
Just because of his flaws ?
Do you guys think that he wants to be like that ?
He can sometimes be a jerk but i love him and only this jerk can fill me with contentment.
He is not the only jerk.
There are more worst jerks out there who has worst past and keeping it in the dark.
I wish i can open my gap and blurt this question out to my parents,
Can good-looks, dollars and highly qualified guy promise me contentment ?
There is no perfect guy in this world is there ?
If there is, why are there still cases of broken families, divorce cases, abused, raped, heartbreaks.
Why can't they let me make this mistake if it unfortunantely is even a mistake.
Let me learn.
If i don't feel heartbroken now, when can i learn ?
When i'm married then ending up divorced ?
I just want my family to have a seat with him and get to know him before judging him physically.
But it will never happen.
NEVER.
I can't end this relationship because it will be unfair to him.
My family don't even give me time to end it.
I'm forced to end it NOW after building it up for nearly 6 years.
Can you readers feel my heart shattering?
Caught in between family and love.
What should i do ?

2009-06-25T12:37:00.005+08:00

MONTY'S EXAMS RESULTS

SO PROUD OF YOUUUUUU.
Remember that this is all your effort. The motivation, accompanying, massaging you and teaching you the methods to study was just little help from me and i did what i did as your girlfriend. Now i believe that you go to school to study not to have flings like what that bloody bitch tells me. - i bangge dgn papa.

2009-06-25T11:29:00.011+08:00

Met monty yesterday. After ...... 4days of not meeting. I miss him so so much. we've been really keen to meet each other. Since he was freed from that dark "room", i can sense little changes in him. But i'm afraid it would last only for a while.

In the past when relationship starts to turn dull,
-He's usually not the type who keep his promises. He will often promise one thing and do it the other way round and that will always end up to a tiff.
-He will always do things slyly without me knowing.
-If i proposed to meet up, he'll avoid. avoid means REALLY AVOID. like off the fone, keep silent, text him but no replies etc.
-Don't get jealous easily i mean don't bother to get jealous though how hard i've tried.
-just show no more love.
-always with his friends
-don't bother to console me anymore
* tooooo manyyyyyy more but too hurt to reminisce.

Now when problems are resolved with patience, no disturbances and lessons finally learned,
-He finally realize who has been by his side when he's down and out.
-He appreciates my existence.
-What we didn't do in the past, we finally did. -MOVIE MARATHON.
-He did the cutest things that i would have wanted a long time ago:-

~when it's raining, he'll ask me to exchange slippers with him cos mine is the slippery kind and still grab hold of my hips.

~wash his hands out of the secret society FOR me and not DUE to me.

~will watch me sleep before he does.

~if i'm perspiring, he'll fold a paper into a fan and fan me but sometimes it will still not work cos i perspire alot and he'll find other means to fan me. haha

~he would sit and wait for me for hours just to see me

~I'll just have to lie down on his lap and complain that i pening and he'll straightaway get a vicks to massage for me until i tidur and leave me to take a nap.

~he would give his seat up for me cos i'm tired and will sit on the floor or stand though he is more tired

~reassured me that i am beautiful no matter what

~passed his exams for me and not for himself because he's afraid i might be disappointed

~Monty compose and sings but he will compose a song and will NEVER use my name and i like that. why? because, he sang songs using too many other girls name already so i don't like it when he use mine cos it won't feel special anymore. So at least people won't know who is his girlfriend. Don't believe? Check this http://www.imeem.com/people/dpiGoA5/music/ and count how many girls name is the title of the songs that he sang and spot my name . trust me, NONE.

~ECETRAAAAAAA

THANKS BABY IF ALL THIS IS ONLY DONE FOR ME. I APPRECIATE THOSE LITTLE THINGS YOU DID FOR ME. EVEN IF IT LAST FOR A WHILE, AT LEAST IT HAS CARVE AN ELEGANT MEMORY FOR ME.

2009-06-10T23:43:00.004+08:00

OUT FOR THE DAY BUT LEFT SOME SHOTS.

2009-06-09T20:08:00.008+08:00

Saturday, as promised, he took me to a movie. After 5years and 6mths of relationship, on Saturday 6th June, he broke his piggy bank and grab some 30bucks to buy me ticket to night at the museum 2. AWESOMEEEEE ! Is he really proving he's changed for real ? This is the first time ever, he, mohd zaky, proposed to catch a movie with me. Ok, i know im bragging about this thing too much and exaggerated a little but in the past when i wanna catch a movie, he'll refuse nicely. real nicely =/

1. " i'll sleep when i watch the movie"
2. " the movie will watch me sleep rather than me watching it"
3. "isn't it better to buy our own vcd? "

See what i mean ? i hope he really change for good this time after the biggest mistake. I enjoyed the whole saturday afternoon with him. Monty is really good at making me loving him more and more despite his mistakes. He just know how to make up for it and SHIT I HATE THAT. But still the best thing with him is, he always gorges me with food and never complain about my huge tummy. haha ! Try being fat and get a 'near to perfection' guy for yourself. The answer, NO WAY ! So tell me how should i let go of monty when he loves me the way i am whether i am fat, thin or ugly. He never judge me by my looks that is why i can't let go.

I won't talk about her again. It was your foolish mistake and without that mistake, i don't think we'll enjoy that whole saturday night together at a movie. JUST YOU AND ME.

There is certain thing in life where you know its a mistake but you don't really know it's a mistake because the only way to really know it's a mistake is to make the mistake and look back and say " YUP, THAT WAS A MISTAKE" so really the bigger mistake would be the "NOT" make the mistake because then you'll go your whole life not really knowing if something was a mistake or not. -good thing you did that mistake now you've realize.

2009-06-09T02:08:00.005+08:00

W36G CHALET !

2009-06-05T21:32:00.003+08:00

W36G was rocking and rolling since Wednesday till today. We booked a chalet at Costa Sands and it was hell of fun. The chalet was 3days and 2nights. My poly peeps are superb and way different from my secondary bunch. I think we're fated to be in one class as every single one of us was once heartbroken and we let it out. We had great fun as we played truth or dare and YES ! FOOLISH QUESTIONS WAS BOMBARDED ! after that we had a walk at the beach accompanied with the breeze. longggggggggggggggggggggggg storyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. I had shot some visuals but have not upload it. Will do real soonnnnnnnnn. =)

regaining the lost time.

2009-05-31T05:17:00.006+08:00

Last night was not like the other nights. Picking up all the lost pieces and joining it altogether. It's just the nature of every human being that when the one you've always wanted to spent every moment with, left, then will we have the sense of regret. I know you're sorry for what you did but i still can't bring myself to forgive you wholeheartedly. Something is pulling me back and that is fear. I fear that you'll just walk away again and all i can do is just stare at the footsteps that you've carved while you're walking and leaving me with just tears. Even how much i try to reach you, i fear i can't. I love you too much. TOO MUCH.

With you, everything seems right. Last night, again, a promised. Will it be genuine this time ? Please let it be real. I really want just you and me to be the way we used to be. I've missed the time when you held me in yours arms with full of love. I really feel you last night. I've missed those eyes glimmering when you say you love me. And after such a long ride with full of humps, last night, i see that in your eyes. Your warmth wrapping up my body was what i've waited. Spending the night just with you was enough to alter everything. I don't want to just have another night and another dream wasted on you. The passionate kissed on my forehead is now plastered there. I've always believed that when a guy kissed you on the forehead passionately, it's enough to prove that he loves.

You smile and watch me shut my eyes and sleep. You held my hands when i shut my eyes. You kissed my forehead when i was partially awake after a bad dream and soon after the kissed, i went back to sleep again cause thats what i needed. I need to feel you then will i be at ease and get back to my sleep. You watch me sleep and did not even wake me up though you were lonely. All you say when i asked why didn't you wake me up was,

"i know you're tired after a long day at school with that heavy bag clinging on your shoulder"
"watching you smile while you're in that deep sleep is enough to accompany me"

(All i can respond to that is, smile and just lay on his chest and hugged him tight.)

This relationship has too many downturn and we've suffered. Even after i gain you, i still feel lost. I lost your love. I don't feel your love no more but after last night, our first night together after a super long time, i'm starting to see that love coming. The lack of communication and the foolish mistakes i made, taught me enough. I thought five years and just love was enough for this relationship but i then realised that this relationship lacks alot of the most essential factors. I've learned.

don't shoved me aside.

2009-05-27T14:08:00.006+08:00

Life will never be a simple route without you.
You are the doorway to my contentment
How can that smile be in my grasp when the doorway is shut forever ?
please look back.

I swear that you don't have to go.
I thought that i can live in your arms
and live every moments with you
under the stars which are the witness of our love.

Inside I'm dying with my heart beside me in shattered pieces
that may never be replaced.
Even i were to die now, i will always remember you now.
Sleep alone tonight montyyyyy without me by your side.
It will never be the same. NEVER

2009-05-25T15:38:00.002+08:00

I never needed you to be strong
I never needed you to point out my wrongs
i never needed pain and strain.
My love for you was strong enough you should've known.
I never needed you for judgment
I never asked for help, I take care of myself, I don't know why you think you got a hold on me.
And it's a little in the conversations
There isn't anything that you can say.
And my eyes hurt, hands shiver, so look at me and listen to me because,

I don't want to
Stay another minute
I don't want you
To say a single word
There is no other way
I get the final say
Because
I don't want to
Do this any longer
I don't want you
There's nothing left to say
I've already spoken
Our love is broken

I never needed your corrections
On everything from how i act to what i say
i never needed words, i never needed hurt, i never needed you to be there everyday
I'm sorry for the way i let go
Of everything i wanted when you came along
But i am never beaten, broken, not defeated
I know next to you is not where i belong
And it's a little late for explanations
There isn't anything that you can do
And my eyes hurt, hands shiver, so you will listen when i say baby

No more words
No more lies
No more crying
No more pain
No more hurt
No more trying

2009-05-25T09:17:00.000+08:00

SINGLE IS SEXY. - LOVING EVERY BITS OF THOSE SEXINESS

2009-05-24T13:47:00.000+08:00

At last we met and i get the truth out of him. I shouldn't have believe them. YOU FUCKERS ! YOUR OWN " BEST FRIEND " BACK STABBED YOU ! Now i know who the hell is trying to be funny with us. You didn't wanna tell me cos you're scared ? Yes i am angry when you blurt out the truth and i can't even face you but realizing how brave you were to tell me the truth from the root, i feel proud. Let them play this game. We'll see how far they'll go in ruining our relationship. Anyway you bloody bitch, you don't go around fucking and seducing all guys and treat your virginity like a WHILE STOCK LAST SALE. -malukan diri kaw ah kt blog aku, biar smue org bace.

2009-05-22T15:07:00.001+08:00

slumber party at school ?ROMANCE IN THE AIR. *bluekks*

2009-05-20T11:28:00.000+08:00

All i ever asked for, was for you to be true but not only did you alter the facts, you even take out all the strings of "vogue" words out on me just to run away from the facts and making everything look like you're the victim. Don't be a frogger you bastard. Don't run away from the problems that you yourself put yourself into. Go and face up to it. Don't act like a 26-year old BABY who needs a pampers to pee. What was my mistake ? All i ever did was entrusting you with just my few pounds reddish heart hoping that you'll treat it right but of course NO, you did not. In fact you pinned it with all the unwanted facts that i've never dreamt to hear. Pinning it and it bleeds but you simply ignored the bleed by altering all the facts and keep on lyingggg. Was hoping that you will wipe out the bleed by explaining all that was needed to explain but i guessed right that you will not because you're just a plain coward who is self-centered who dumps your shit into my compound and letting it stink and decomposed and obviously i will be the one having to clear that trash- YOUR PROBLEMS THAT YOU CREATED to be clear. GROW-UP DUDE.

2009-05-19T15:28:00.000+08:00

Why are they still bothering me ? Don't they understand my actions ? I simply ignored their messages but still it don't really get in their FUCKINGGGGGGGG BRAIN ? I'm sure you people are not a retard but you simply act like one, do you know that ? Want me to post your number and let the readers bugged you ? I'M NOT WITH HIM SO BUZZED OFF AND GO GET THAT DOGGY NOT ME !

2009-05-18T12:49:00.000+08:00

I'm still so torned. My happiness has just been mercilessly ripped from me. I'm just plainly smiling and ACTING happy when deep inside it still is sored. No one can feel me. I'm just the person who is feeling it. HURT. I'M ACTING PEOPLE ! ACTING ! FAKING MY SMILE ! I feel like lying down and CRYYYYY now but thanks to you guys -ain, aneey, sangeetha ecetra for laughing and ending up making me smile and forget everythingggggg . THANKYOU.

2009-05-18T10:32:00.000+08:00

AGAIN, it happened. EXPECTED actually. owells, this time around, never will i even tilt my head back and drag my feet to him again cause i promised to AZMAN. Thanks to AZMANNNNN. He really knock my head and that had struck me. Not literally of cause. Met him yesterday at one fullerton and pour it out. My heart really felt like a piece of crushed paper at that point of time but after hearing his sensible words, felt that it actually make sense and i found the pathway. I told him about the downturn that happened lately. He was even more stunned when i told him that i've patched with that dumbass and end up breaking up again. The reason we broke up was due to me being so gullible and letting that dumbass stepped all over me FLAT and to also some freaking bitches and bastards who kept tagging me like everything was my fault when im the fucking victim here who is clueless of all this. READ THIS ! I'm not with him now, so don't get me involve in this inmatured shit and go beat him up by all means because i don't care and i'll be more than happy that you've actually do me a big favour by getting the job done for me. AND to that girl, if you're "smart" enough, lick him back. Hope you are happy that you ruin my relationship. One fine day, some other people will do that to yours.

To azman, i really thank you for the time yesterday when i know you were tired but still take the time to come down and meet me. The words that you spout which was making more friends in poly, move on and delete every details about that dumbass is now glued in my pink brain.

Thanks for helping me with the message that you asked me to type out and sent to that dumbass and the taggers. Hope that they will not distract me and affect my studies. I will enlarge my social circles and geting to know the POLY GUYS before getting involve in future relationships.

You were right that majority of the ite guys are just the bunch that treat school like a slumber party and girls as their sex slaves. I will heed to your advice to not getting back to him. NEVER. I PROMISE.

"To zakyyyyy, whatever you do to me now, there are bigger chances whereby it will hit back to your face and during that point of time, you can taste the sucky feeling that im feeling now. You can play me out but don't do that to some big time gangsters' daughter in future."

* A personal vow for myself to remember, will not get back to him and will look for a better love but till then will look on the bright side, school, friends and STUDIES.

2009-05-08T23:29:00.001+08:00

This week of scHooL was simply madness. I'm starting to socialize and starting to get super loud. True colors starting to blossom. DANGERRRRRR ! The strange thing is that my perception towards the system in this school still has not alter. The system is weird and rubbish still but who cares as long as you have superb mates. Surprisingly, i have a scandal in this school. Anxious to know who ? I can just briefly describe for now till i grab a snap of him. HE ? Very dark yet very clear to my eyes, Very cool type of chap which is why i find him superduperrr hot ! Sexy though he hid it behind his huge pants and MASSIVE size collared-shirt. Though his hair is countable and has an array of white colored hair, that is my most favorite portion still cos that is a proof of " maturity ". hahahaha. His mustache attract me the most ! Why ?? Because it's too obvious and all over the place ! Wonder how he manage to finish his food without having leftovers stuck on his mustache .. *hhmmmmm * My classmates might know who i'm referring to. You guys, sssshhhhhssshhhh ! Anyway readers, during my high time in class, i decided to disturb everyone and grab snaps of them.

2009-05-03T14:28:00.001+08:00

SATURDAY ...

Had to wake monty up at 5.30 am cause he has to go for anugerah audition. Can u literally imagine how worn-out i am ? *pfffftttt*

He reach simei at 8am and already started queuing up. I dashed out my house to accompany him cum supporting him. Stand, queue, starvation, dehydration from 8am to 2pm is freaking killing me ! BUTTTTT !!!!!!!!! IT'S WORTHWHILE !!! CAUSE !!!! MONTY GOT THROUGH THE FIRST ROUND OF AUDITION ! I believed and know that he'll get through. He practice so hard and he wants this so bad. CONGRATULATION PAPA !

After all done, from 3rd floor dashed off to the 1st floor to hug and kiss him. Everyone glaring at us but who cares. So proud of bumbum. We spent our whole night together soon after.

2009-05-03T13:29:00.000+08:00

Met monty on FRIDAY AND SATURDAY.

FRIDAYYYYY ..
We had a slight tiff on friday but just a mini tiny winny arguement. So, i thought of postponing our date but he insisted on meeting so i went with it. We argue as to where we should meet. Simei or Woodlands. He wants to "broooomm !" all the way to simei whereas i wanna leap all the way to woodlands.HAHA. In the end he compromise andand gave in to me. So i leap and leap all the way to woodlands.

Upon reaching there, we lepak at pondok and we chit-chat all the karotKAROT ahh. We had our personal and private talk just between us cause usually when we meet, there will be company so friday was just the both of us. There were a few confession he has to clear cause he lied about an issue which i came to know. I didn't had to press him so hard for him to vomit out the truth like in the past. In the past, i had all the vulgarities out my hole just for him to blurt out the truth but still i didn't manage to get the truth out from him BUT now, after patching up, still trying to mend ways, the only way i try to get the truth out of him is to try to persuade him like saying "i understand" "i won't blow my top" "hug him" "talk supersuper SWEEEEETTTTT" until he believe and confess ! WAAA LAHHHHH ! super easy ! now i learn, use vulgarities = won't work but understand and give all the support he needs = WORKS !

After that, lepak with his kawan, kena screen with kampao and all, share eerie ghost stories after that crappy incident until 145am then he sent me home because i takottttt youuuuu !

2009-04-20T23:00:00.000+08:00

So worn-out man. I bet part of my muscle surrounding my shoulder are torn apart due to the heavy loaded toad bag that clings on it the whole day. After a rough day at school, here comes work.

Speaking of work, a thought did strike me. I thought of wanting to stop teaching man. *sighs*
Still under consideration though. My student, iman, is really a good kid. Dropping him is really gonna be the toughest decision.

Just now, i asked him what if i stop teaching him after 15th may (after SA1) will it be fine for him. He looked down and nodded. Then i say again that i will find a replacement tutor for him and is he agreeable to that. He nodded again. Then he looked up to me and suddenly wept. He pleaded saying that he only wants me to teach him and not anyone else. If he says that without weeping its fine but saying that PLUS weeping, made me feel super bad. He wept not only once but twice ! Just because i say that i'm really sick. He wept and when i questioned him why, he says that he pities me and is worried about me. HOW DIABETICALLY SWEET IS THAT !

2009-04-20T13:19:00.000+08:00

MONDAY20thAPRIL.Time check: 1319pm. guess where am i ? SCHOOL LAH ABO ! haha. Enjoying my break with new mates. Today marks the first day in my new school. New environment. New social. New beginnings of my academic level. The class was a little too silent and mundane but its normal i guess. I really thought that i will have a tough time in socializing with my mates but i managed to. How ? BE A SMOKER ! A few of my mates in my class are smokers excluding the chinese. So how i initiate our convo?
"Do you smoke?"
"errr, yeahhh"
"wanna go asap?
"ok ok !"
Then we dash out lorr. Then we started to chat along the way. Getting to know and all. And soon after, a friend cum classmates. Eazzie Pizzie. lol . Now two quarter of the class is my friends. And the best part, SMOKERS. So got kaki to asap next time. ^_____________^

Now my excitement is not just that. I'm extremely excited because my dear monty will be transfered from singapore polytechnic to the same campus as me soon. Can't wait ! We've been planning to get our butt to the same poly and here comes. Anyway readers, got to get out of here ! Updating in few hours time.

2009-04-18T18:55:00.000+08:00

170409 Friday. After half-a year, met four eyes, we hugged. we kissed. we promised. we make-up. Back in Love. Have we passed the test yet ? Excitement, Contentment, Unbelievable etc etc etc. Mixed feelings.

Met Monty at my place. Monty arrived but didn't buzz me up. so i waited. wait, wait and wait. Thought he was caught up in a jam. But, at last my phone rang. "Withheld !" Yessa ! At last ! He called !

After half-a-year we didn't catch up. And yesterday ? We did ! He called and say that he was waiting for me since the past few minutes. I waited for him and he too was waiting. hahaha. After i got his phone call, jumped out of the sofa, grab my camera, guitar and dashed out !

I ran the flight of stairs and for the freaking first time, i didn't take the lift so as to not keep him waiting. Because the period of time the lift takes to move up, will take me 3 freaking minutes and for the door to open, 2 stupid minutes, door closing, plus 2 minutes, going down to the 1st storey, 3 MINUTES ! that'll take me 10 WHOLE MINUTES just for the "lift". tsktsk. So i decided to go by the stairs. ^__^

As i was running the flight of stairs, my heart was thumping so hard. I feel like wanting to flap my wings to him. But i don't need to cause instead of me having to do that, he was right there in front of my eyes, carving a wide smile, just alongside the stairs, Waiting. I forced my pairs of legs to run faster, get into his grasp. And there i was, hugged and my forehead was kissed by mohdZAKY. He said that he couldn't wait any longer and that was my exact similar feelings.

We want to always reminisce this moment hence i grab some snaps. Here are some.

2009-04-15T22:42:00.000+08:00

Today was supposed to be super duperrrr hell of a fun. But i just feel that my arse is so gatal and i want to go off instantaneously cause my initial intentions of going for the orientation was just to know my future class, get my freaking ez-link card and get my butty butt out of there fast. But i had to do the kiddy games and all. *pfft* so in the end i decided to cabot with my new friend, cai yun. haha. known for that anyway. ^________^ i cabot, met nadyra and go teach. super worn-out mannn ! WAIT UP READERS! you know what ? owell actually, after typing this much, i then realise that i'm not really toooo worn-out as i specifically type just a few words away a while ago lahh becauuuseeeee i'm actually 'be-logginggg' -blogging. ok nowww then wannna wrap up this update and tidurrrrrrr.

2009-04-14T00:28:00.000+08:00

It's been 3 days since we've settled down nicely. The root of love is blossoming again. Should i start worrying or just smile ? idk, i somehow feel relieved after his appearance. He does play an extensive role to my laughter. And for the record, he still responses to my feelings ! =) I guess i should be contented because i can sense huge changes in me. I've been deceiving myself all this while about not having any funny feelings towards him but going deeper, i do actually ! I hope this round, i won't make any pathetic mistake and end up slitting each others' heart.

2009-04-14T00:18:00.000+08:00

How dope is that, the homepage of my laptop. I've started to indulge myself with deviart art. I N L O V E.

2009-04-13T02:37:00.000+08:00

AGAIN ! SHOP-PINNNNGGGGG ! at peninsula. Before shopping for the clothes, my dad went in an instrumental shop. I was awed by the guitars. In that shop, there's a jamming room and we were given the permission to enter as my dad wanted to have a taste of the drum. My dad was an old-timer drummer and he imparted a tinge of his skills to me. I tried but hancor. haha. After a few bangs here and there, we went off. Initially, I wanted to shop for a few blouses and pants for school at This Fashion after Peninsula's trip. The plan was just to shop for my brother's tees at peninsula butttttt a camera bag caught my attention. Scanning through every pieces of the bags then this pair of eyes shifted a little bit to my right and i actually saw a few pieces of awesome designed blouses and of course it was mine soon after. Then after all the trying out of tees, we went MAKAN at simpang bedok. there were still time for a snap or two during the shopping . pictures PICTURES AND MORE PICTURES.

Had the time of our life. For friends who come and go, don't think that you're so essential.

2009-04-12T01:13:00.000+08:00

shop shop shop. Out to sim lim square to check out some electronic stuff. I didn't expect to grab hold of an Olympus Digital Camera at 300 bucks siaaaa ! I've been wanting to grab hold of a Pink Digi Cam and today, it was in my grasp. Family outing it was. Pictures were taken too.

Super-dupeeeerrrrr nice. A blasttt.

2009-04-12T00:44:00.000+08:00

I'm loving my new digital camera. just bought it. yeaaaa ! camwhoring soooonnn with this hot stuff. and the best part of it all its PINK !

Both my HOT PINK digi cam and laptop. I N L O V E.

2009-04-11T02:50:00.000+08:00

Singlehood has ended for me. I've offered to call him and have a chat after such a long long time. The tone was different. Way different. I can sense anger. Hurt. There were some confessions made. I feel so bad hurting him so much. I didn't realised that i've made a huge mistake. That remarks that i left in his imeem has left a big scarred in his heart and mind as well. I know its a sensitive issue and i shouldn't have shoot it out. I'm sorry. I didn't realised that you'll be torned. i thought you didn't have a heart that is able to feel hurt. why ? Why didn't you face me and speak up about what you've gone through ? about your dad that's hospitalized and you, feeling serik ? I thought i'm the victim in this relationship but i didn't realised that you simpan semua dalam hati and bersabar pa AND DIDN'T EVEN UTTER YOUR PAIN TO ANYONE JUST NOT TO HURT ME. *sighs* *tears dripping* After you've confessed and let out your anger and hurt then i realised that i'm the one who've been hurting you mentally and emotionally. I'll do anything to make up for it. just anything. just. I'm sorry pa. so sorry. S O R R Y.

2009-04-10T22:25:00.000+08:00

we've patched siaaaaaa. SHUT UP. this is damn serious not an april fool joke. i know i've joke about this for april fool but this is GENUINELY TRUE ! some may think im plain silly to have turn back to him and some may say "MUNNNNNNNNN ! " i know i know. but trust me, i know this is what i want and need. just sit around and see how far we'll go this time. this time around, i'll alter my ways. If i make the initial step and lead the road, im sure he'll follow suit. what has god planned for me mannn. pray for me please.

2009-04-10T15:30:00.000+08:00

This is what i hate. *sheesshh* Decisions. I know its inevitable but still can't i just count myself out ? *pffftt*

He wants to re-appear in my life and YES thats what i WANT but on second thought, " Is he what i REALLY NEED ? " perplexed. " Should it be a yes or no ? " He's done alot to slit me but still i feel that's the spices to a sparkly relationship. *shoots* am i making an excuse for myself ? or just trying to deny the fact that im a fool ?

2009-04-10T03:04:00.000+08:00

To: Muhd Fuad.

haha, random note for him. Thank you for the long long POWDERful advices. Im so grateful to him you know. He listen and never fail to talk me to it. He's motivation which was to him, nothing but to me a BIGGG thing, was super duper nice. He's been a listener and counsellor AND A FRIEND the past few days when i was really torned. He even type out a message that i should sent to zack which was indeed a miracle. That message moved zack. anyway, wondering which fuad im talking about ? pronounce FOR WHATTTT and it'll hit you. hahaha. by the way fuad, hopefully your ears will not burnt and your mouth will not be blistered cause you're gonna listen to more of me and more advices are gonna be pressed from you. haha. this is just a petite "thank-you" note from me.

signoff
~muneera

Turning Point

2009-04-10T00:35:00.000+08:00

WOOOOOOTTTTTTTTTT !! My prayers are finally answered siaaa. My tears was not for free. God really hear, trust me he does. Again, as usual, im often flooded with tears as i reminiscence. BUT today was slightly different. =) HE CALLED. MOHD ZAKY CALLED ! Yes, there's pile of hatred from within but yes too, i've missed him since we've broke our vow last october. It was never an easy route and five years it was but it was still brittle and unfortunately, ripped. The both of us has been in denial for months. I passed him a certain remarks that never were suppose to shoot out of my hole. regret ? NO. in fact, i added more. NOW, then i feel the ache. I realised that he's the only human being who HAS loved me more than anything he owned but i didnt treasure that most priceless love. If this is the only one chance i have, damn i swear, i'll never ever let it drip away.

I hope i get to see him this saturday, kiss, make-up and get to clear our journey hand-in-hand. But, it'll not be that simple. I know. I'll not even dare to think of it but i don't want to overlook it either. *sighs* Just a simple "sorry" for the starter. Long explaination + tears + emotions = very well done drama. The conclusion ? I'll let god decide. It's written. Just wait.

Will this light be any brighter ?

Walking The Same Road.

2009-04-09T00:53:00.000+08:00

Its like a fucking routine huh. Goddddd, I wish there was someone who can give me an alternative in this road im walking. I feel like i'm tied down to this motionless life. *sighsss*

OKAYYYY, ANYWAYYYYY today ? *smile*. Before i start, i'm so proud of being a tutor who is entrusted to care, holler, hit, smack my students while imparting my wisdom. haha. like WHAT THE HELL im babbling right ? kayy, now i'll go with the story of the happenings today while im actually imparting my knowledge to this kid.

Name, ihsan. very charming, cuteeeyyy pie, the outlook ahhh like one "no-sin kid" buttttt i tell youuuu ... today he really get on my nerves. Imagine doing just 2 QUESTION for 30 freaking MINUTES which was from 8.30pm till 9pm ! I was "trying my best" to swallow his attitude well i did actually buttttttt only for a while lahhhhh. BUT, i learn one massive thing from our conversation in between that 30 minutes.. worhwhile lahhh.. WANNA KNOW WHAT ? read further downnnnn.

ihsan: kak neera, i don't know how to do this --> (36/42 change to simplest form)
neera: try first, i teach you already.
ihsan: *laugh laugh laugh*
neera: STOP LAUGHING!
ihsan: your nose got something ! (laughh)
neera: what ??? where ??? *blush*
ihsan: *laugh again*
neera:*cover my nose because i too maluuu* DO THE QUESTION NOWWWW!!
ihsan: *then he start to do but still LAUGHINGG*
ihsan: alaaahhhhh this question, chicken onlyyyyy
ihsan: baby also can do *laugh again*
neera: *whatever face*
ihsan: errrrrrrrr ...
ihsan : kakkkkkk neeeeraaaaaaaa,I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO UHHHHH *grin*
neera: *HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA*
neera: tu lahhhh .. ckp besar lagi ..........

( the learning factor is : DON'T BE TOOOOO OVER-CONFIDENT AND DON'T LAUGH AT OTHERS SO MUCH !!! )

2009-04-08T06:31:00.001+08:00

Mum is really pissing my butt off siaaaa. Early in the morning when i should hear the hustle of the leaves, the bustle of the cities, the chirpy birds, all i can hear is her, babbling nonsense ! irritating perrrrrrrrssssss. Always finding some silly issue to initiate an arguement. If only she was someone i didnt know. I would have holler at her and just give her ONE MASSIVEEEE, HUGEEEE, BIGGGGGG .......
KISS ON HER LIPS so she'll be appalled and shut the big hole on her face.*grin* how nice is that.
Mum will never change only that they'll alter their lives from very bad to damn freaking worse which at the end of it all, their children will have to suffer. A very pretty excellent example, ME. Pityful ? Not until you hear how i endure that that that that EADAH, a 51-year old lady who's acting like she's going through menopause and unfortunately OPPPPPSSSS, fortunatelyyyyy MY BIRTH MOTHER that is. We'll never agree when we talk about a certain issue which either she or me initiate. It will never end with a fluent conversation. She'll never compromise. goodness ! hell mannnnn ... !

This the 51-year old lady im talking about.
This is the most BEAUTIFOOLISH face she'll do when we start our conversation. How can it not irritate me ?? don't laughh ahhh, at the end of the day, how sucky she look, she's still MY MOMMA YAW !

2009-04-08T02:57:00.000+08:00

Feeling completely dreadful today. Errr .. actuallyyy, EVERYDAY ! WHAT THE HELL is happening to my life sia ? goodness, i will all of a sudden be carving the widest smile ever and the next minute my tears will be piling up the brim of a pail. *shoots* . but each time i teared up, that will be the most nicest ever feeling i have, SATISFACTORY. I'll feel the sense of satisfaction where each drops removes the pinch in my heart.
MOHD ZAKY must be loaded with contentment huh. "HAHAHAHA" chibbays ! you'll see me laugh my lungs out when i see you suffer one day. The answer that i wanted was simple right ? Why ? Why don't you actually bother ? *sighs*

2009-04-08T00:04:00.000+08:00

My goodness, damn mundane today. The days i walked was never different. My students ? Never-ending problems. Today, they had a tiff and it was never better for me. Guess what ? I had to sit, watch and listen to them exchanging their "words". Mind you, a 7-year old kid and a 10-year old kid had their harsh words exchanged between them. I could only stared and sighed and wished i can just grab my bag, stand up and dash out of the house. *pfffffttt*