мuɴyʀɑ ♥

nineteen

21st JULY 1990

Republic Polytechnic-Diploma in Business Information System

Tutor

So worn-out man. I bet part of my muscle surrounding my shoulder are torn apart due to the heavy loaded toad bag that clings on it the whole day. After a rough day at school, here comes work.

Speaking of work, a thought did strike me. I thought of wanting to stop teaching man. *sighs*
Still under consideration though. My student, iman, is really a good kid. Dropping him is really gonna be the toughest decision.

Just now, i asked him what if i stop teaching him after 15th may (after SA1) will it be fine for him. He looked down and nodded. Then i say again that i will find a replacement tutor for him and is he agreeable to that. He nodded again. Then he looked up to me and suddenly wept. He pleaded saying that he only wants me to teach him and not anyone else. If he says that without weeping its fine but saying that PLUS weeping, made me feel super bad. He wept not only once but twice ! Just because i say that i'm really sick. He wept and when i questioned him why, he says that he pities me and is worried about me. HOW DIABETICALLY SWEET IS THAT !

Labels: simply adores

MONDAY20thAPRIL.Time check: 1319pm. guess where am i ? SCHOOL LAH ABO ! haha. Enjoying my break with new mates. Today marks the first day in my new school. New environment. New social. New beginnings of my academic level. The class was a little too silent and mundane but its normal i guess. I really thought that i will have a tough time in socializing with my mates but i managed to. How ? BE A SMOKER ! A few of my mates in my class are smokers excluding the chinese. So how i initiate our convo?
"Do you smoke?"
"errr, yeahhh"
"wanna go asap?
"ok ok !"
Then we dash out lorr. Then we started to chat along the way. Getting to know and all. And soon after, a friend cum classmates. Eazzie Pizzie. lol . Now two quarter of the class is my friends. And the best part, SMOKERS. So got kaki to asap next time. ^_____________^

Now my excitement is not just that. I'm extremely excited because my dear monty will be transfered from singapore polytechnic to the same campus as me soon. Can't wait ! We've been planning to get our butt to the same poly and here comes. Anyway readers, got to get out of here ! Updating in few hours time.

170409 Friday. After half-a year, met four eyes, we hugged. we kissed. we promised. we make-up. Back in Love. Have we passed the test yet ? Excitement, Contentment, Unbelievable etc etc etc. Mixed feelings.

Met Monty at my place. Monty arrived but didn't buzz me up. so i waited. wait, wait and wait. Thought he was caught up in a jam. But, at last my phone rang. "Withheld !" Yessa ! At last ! He called !

After half-a-year we didn't catch up. And yesterday ? We did ! He called and say that he was waiting for me since the past few minutes. I waited for him and he too was waiting. hahaha. After i got his phone call, jumped out of the sofa, grab my camera, guitar and dashed out !


I ran the flight of stairs and for the freaking first time, i didn't take the lift so as to not keep him waiting. Because the period of time the lift takes to move up, will take me 3 freaking minutes and for the door to open, 2 stupid minutes, door closing, plus 2 minutes, going down to the 1st storey, 3 MINUTES ! that'll take me 10 WHOLE MINUTES just for the "lift". tsktsk. So i decided to go by the stairs. ^__^



As i was running the flight of stairs, my heart was thumping so hard. I feel like wanting to flap my wings to him. But i don't need to cause instead of me having to do that, he was right there in front of my eyes, carving a wide smile, just alongside the stairs, Waiting. I forced my pairs of legs to run faster, get into his grasp. And there i was, hugged and my forehead was kissed by mohdZAKY. He said that he couldn't wait any longer and that was my exact similar feelings.


We want to always reminisce this moment hence i grab some snaps. Here are some.

Labels: Massive Test

Had the time of our life. For friends who come and go, don't think that you're so essential.

shop shop shop. Out to sim lim square to check out some electronic stuff. I didn't expect to grab hold of an Olympus Digital Camera at 300 bucks siaaaa ! I've been wanting to grab hold of a Pink Digi Cam and today, it was in my grasp. Family outing it was. Pictures were taken too.

Super-dupeeeerrrrr nice. A blasttt.

Labels: A blast

Both my HOT PINK digi cam and laptop. I N L O V E.

Singlehood has ended for me. I've offered to call him and have a chat after such a long long time. The tone was different. Way different. I can sense anger. Hurt. There were some confessions made. I feel so bad hurting him so much. I didn't realised that i've made a huge mistake. That remarks that i left in his imeem has left a big scarred in his heart and mind as well. I know its a sensitive issue and i shouldn't have shoot it out. I'm sorry. I didn't realised that you'll be torned. i thought you didn't have a heart that is able to feel hurt. why ? Why didn't you face me and speak up about what you've gone through ? about your dad that's hospitalized and you, feeling serik ? I thought i'm the victim in this relationship but i didn't realised that you simpan semua dalam hati and bersabar pa AND DIDN'T EVEN UTTER YOUR PAIN TO ANYONE JUST NOT TO HURT ME. *sighs* *tears dripping* After you've confessed and let out your anger and hurt then i realised that i'm the one who've been hurting you mentally and emotionally. I'll do anything to make up for it. just anything. just. I'm sorry pa. so sorry. S O R R Y.

Labels: forgive me, will you ?

we've patched siaaaaaa. SHUT UP. this is damn serious not an april fool joke. i know i've joke about this for april fool but this is GENUINELY TRUE ! some may think im plain silly to have turn back to him and some may say "MUNNNNNNNNN ! " i know i know. but trust me, i know this is what i want and need. just sit around and see how far we'll go this time. this time around, i'll alter my ways. If i make the initial step and lead the road, im sure he'll follow suit. what has god planned for me mannn. pray for me please.

Labels: wrong ? right ?

This is what i hate. *sheesshh* Decisions. I know its inevitable but still can't i just count myself out ? *pffftt*

He wants to re-appear in my life and YES thats what i WANT but on second thought, " Is he what i REALLY NEED ? " perplexed. " Should it be a yes or no ? " He's done alot to slit me but still i feel that's the spices to a sparkly relationship. *shoots* am i making an excuse for myself ? or just trying to deny the fact that im a fool ?

Labels: Decisions are inevitable

To: Muhd Fuad.

haha, random note for him. Thank you for the long long POWDERful advices. Im so grateful to him you know. He listen and never fail to talk me to it. He's motivation which was to him, nothing but to me a BIGGG thing, was super duper nice. He's been a listener and counsellor AND A FRIEND the past few days when i was really torned. He even type out a message that i should sent to zack which was indeed a miracle. That message moved zack. anyway, wondering which fuad im talking about ? pronounce FOR WHATTTT and it'll hit you. hahaha. by the way fuad, hopefully your ears will not burnt and your mouth will not be blistered cause you're gonna listen to more of me and more advices are gonna be pressed from you. haha. this is just a petite "thank-you" note from me.

signoff
~muneera

WOOOOOOTTTTTTTTTT !! My prayers are finally answered siaaa. My tears was not for free. God really hear, trust me he does. Again, as usual, im often flooded with tears as i reminiscence. BUT today was slightly different. =) HE CALLED. MOHD ZAKY CALLED ! Yes, there's pile of hatred from within but yes too, i've missed him since we've broke our vow last october. It was never an easy route and five years it was but it was still brittle and unfortunately, ripped. The both of us has been in denial for months. I passed him a certain remarks that never were suppose to shoot out of my hole. regret ? NO. in fact, i added more. NOW, then i feel the ache. I realised that he's the only human being who HAS loved me more than anything he owned but i didnt treasure that most priceless love. If this is the only one chance i have, damn i swear, i'll never ever let it drip away.

Labels: Expecting too much ?

Its like a fucking routine huh. Goddddd, I wish there was someone who can give me an alternative in this road im walking. I feel like i'm tied down to this motionless life. *sighsss*


OKAYYYY, ANYWAYYYYY today ? *smile*. Before i start, i'm so proud of being a tutor who is entrusted to care, holler, hit, smack my students while imparting my wisdom. haha. like WHAT THE HELL im babbling right ? kayy, now i'll go with the story of the happenings today while im actually imparting my knowledge to this kid.

Name, ihsan. very charming, cuteeeyyy pie, the outlook ahhh like one "no-sin kid" buttttt i tell youuuu ... today he really get on my nerves. Imagine doing just 2 QUESTION for 30 freaking MINUTES which was from 8.30pm till 9pm ! I was "trying my best" to swallow his attitude well i did actually buttttttt only for a while lahhhhh. BUT, i learn one massive thing from our conversation in between that 30 minutes.. worhwhile lahhh.. WANNA KNOW WHAT ? read further downnnnn.


ihsan: kak neera, i don't know how to do this --> (36/42 change to simplest form)
neera: try first, i teach you already.
ihsan: *laugh laugh laugh*
neera: STOP LAUGHING!
ihsan: your nose got something ! (laughh)
neera: what ??? where ??? *blush*
ihsan: *laugh again*
neera:*cover my nose because i too maluuu* DO THE QUESTION NOWWWW!!
ihsan: *then he start to do but still LAUGHINGG*
ihsan: alaaahhhhh this question, chicken onlyyyyy
ihsan: baby also can do *laugh again*
neera: *whatever face*
ihsan: errrrrrrrr ...
ihsan : kakkkkkk neeeeraaaaaaaa,I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO UHHHHH *grin*
neera: *HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA*
neera: tu lahhhh .. ckp besar lagi ..........

( the learning factor is : DON'T BE TOOOOO OVER-CONFIDENT AND DON'T LAUGH AT OTHERS SO MUCH !!! )

Labels: what a day

This the 51-year old lady im talking about.
This is the most BEAUTIFOOLISH face she'll do when we start our conversation. How can it not irritate me ?? don't laughh ahhh, at the end of the day, how sucky she look, she's still MY MOMMA YAW !

Labels: mother's are trouble

Feeling completely dreadful today. Errr .. actuallyyy, EVERYDAY ! WHAT THE HELL is happening to my life sia ? goodness, i will all of a sudden be carving the widest smile ever and the next minute my tears will be piling up the brim of a pail. *shoots* . but each time i teared up, that will be the most nicest ever feeling i have, SATISFACTORY. I'll feel the sense of satisfaction where each drops removes the pinch in my heart.
MOHD ZAKY must be loaded with contentment huh. "HAHAHAHA" chibbays ! you'll see me laugh my lungs out when i see you suffer one day. The answer that i wanted was simple right ? Why ? Why don't you actually bother ? *sighs*

Labels: karma will strike you

My goodness, damn mundane today. The days i walked was never different. My students ? Never-ending problems. Today, they had a tiff and it was never better for me. Guess what ? I had to sit, watch and listen to them exchanging their "words". Mind you, a 7-year old kid and a 10-year old kid had their harsh words exchanged between them. I could only stared and sighed and wished i can just grab my bag, stand up and dash out of the house. *pfffffttt*

Labels: failure