Sunday, June 28, 2009
GREAT !
Now everywhere i go,
Things i do,
are being monitored.
I can't go out with freedom.
shithead !
STUPID FAMILY !
I can't meet monty anymore.
Have to do it slyly.
GODDDD !
10:47 PM
Saturday, June 27, 2009
I am totally pressurized.
Everday is tears for me.
I'm torn.
Not with monty.
He's altering a lot since that nightmare that befalls him recently
though a lot of his past dark secrets is still haunting
and tearing me,
he's slowly proving to me.
I'm trying to move on with him without that dark secret ruining everything.
To add to my misery,
I can't be with the man i love for ETERNITY.
I totally don't have a say in this family.
I detest being an ARAB GIRL.
I so do.
Being an arab, you have the features but you don't have the last say.
Everything is already decided for you and you can't change that fact.
I can't even be happy with a guy even if it could last for a while.
Why can't they accept him ?
Just because of his flaws ?
Do you guys think that he wants to be like that ?
He can sometimes be a jerk but i love him and only this jerk can fill me with contentment.
He is not the only jerk.
There are more worst jerks out there who has worst past and keeping it in the dark.
I wish i can open my gap and blurt this question out to my parents,
Can good-looks, dollars and highly qualified guy promise me contentment ?
There is no perfect guy in this world is there ?
If there is, why are there still cases of broken families, divorce cases, abused, raped, heartbreaks.
Why can't they let me make this mistake if it unfortunantely is even a mistake.
Let me learn.
If i don't feel heartbroken now, when can i learn ?
When i'm married then ending up divorced ?
I just want my family to have a seat with him and get to know him before judging him physically.
But it will never happen.
NEVER.
I can't end this relationship because it will be unfair to him.
My family don't even give me time to end it.
I'm forced to end it NOW after building it up for nearly 6 years.
Can you readers feel my heart shattering?
Caught in between family and love.
What should i do ?
6:55 PM
Thursday, June 25, 2009
SO PROUD OF YOUUUUUU.
Remember that this is all your effort. The motivation, accompanying, massaging you and teaching you the methods to study was just little help from me and i did what i did as your girlfriend. Now i believe that you go to school to study not to have flings like what that bloody bitch tells me. - i bangge dgn papa.
12:37 PM
Met monty yesterday. After ...... 4days of not meeting. I miss him so so much. we've been really keen to meet each other. Since he was freed from that dark "room", i can sense little changes in him. But i'm afraid it would last only for a while.
In the past when relationship starts to turn dull, -He's usually not the type who keep his promises. He will often promise one thing and do it the other way round and that will always end up to a tiff. -He will always do things slyly without me knowing.-
If i proposed to meet up, he'll avoid. avoid means REALLY AVOID. like off the fone, keep silent, text him but no replies etc.-Don't get jealous easily i mean don't bother to get jealous though how hard i've tried. -just show no more love.
-always with his friends-
don't bother to console me anymore* tooooo manyyyyyy more but too hurt to reminisce.
Now when problems are resolved with patience, no disturbances and lessons finally learned,-He finally realize who has been by his side when he's down and out.-He appreciates my existence.-What we didn't do in the past, we finally did. -MOVIE MARATHON.-He did the cutest things that i would have wanted a long time ago:-
~when it's raining, he'll ask me to exchange slippers with him cos mine is the slippery kind and still grab hold of my hips.~wash his hands out of the secret society FOR me and not DUE to me.
~will watch me sleep before he does.~if i'm perspiring, he'll fold a paper into a fan and fan me but sometimes it will still not work cos i perspire alot and he'll find other means to fan me. haha ~he would sit and wait for me for hours just to see me
~I'll just have to lie down on his lap and complain that i pening and he'll straightaway get a vicks to massage for me until i tidur and leave me to take a nap.
~he would give his seat up for me cos i'm tired and will sit on the floor or stand though he is more tired
~reassured me that i am beautiful no matter what~passed his exams for me and not for himself because he's afraid i might be disappointed ~Monty compose and sings but he will compose a song and will NEVER use my name and i like that. why? because, he sang songs using too many other girls name already so i don't like it when he use mine cos it won't feel special anymore. So at least people won't know who is his girlfriend. Don't believe? Check this http://www.imeem.com/people/dpiGoA5/music/ and count how many girls name is the title of the songs that he sang and spot my name . trust me, NONE.~
ECETRAAAAAAATHANKS BABY IF ALL THIS IS ONLY DONE FOR ME. I APPRECIATE THOSE LITTLE THINGS YOU DID FOR ME. EVEN IF IT LAST FOR A WHILE, AT LEAST IT HAS CARVE AN ELEGANT MEMORY FOR ME.
11:29 AM
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
OUT FOR THE DAY BUT LEFT SOME SHOTS.
Labels: shiok sendiri.
11:43 PM
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Saturday, as promised, he took me to a movie. After 5years and 6mths of relationship, on Saturday 6th June, he broke his piggy bank and grab some 30bucks to buy me ticket to night at the museum 2. AWESOMEEEEE ! Is he really proving he's changed for real ? This is the first time ever, he, mohd zaky, proposed to catch a movie with me. Ok, i know im bragging about this thing too much and exaggerated a little but in the past when i wanna catch a movie, he'll refuse nicely. real nicely =/
1. " i'll sleep when i watch the movie"
2. " the movie will watch me sleep rather than me watching it"
3. "isn't it better to buy our own vcd? "
See what i mean ? i hope he really change for good this time after the biggest mistake. I enjoyed the whole saturday afternoon with him. Monty is really good at making me loving him more and more despite his mistakes. He just know how to make up for it and SHIT I HATE THAT. But still the best thing with him is, he always gorges me with food and never complain about my huge tummy. haha ! Try being fat and get a 'near to perfection' guy for yourself. The answer, NO WAY ! So tell me how should i let go of monty when he loves me the way i am whether i am fat, thin or ugly. He never judge me by my looks that is why i can't let go.
I won't talk about her again. It was your foolish mistake and without that mistake, i don't think we'll enjoy that whole saturday night together at a movie. JUST YOU AND ME. 
There is certain thing in life where you know its a mistake but you don't really know it's a mistake because the only way to really know it's a mistake is to make the mistake and look back and say " YUP, THAT WAS A MISTAKE" so really the bigger mistake would be the "NOT" make the mistake because then you'll go your whole life not really knowing if something was a mistake or not. -good thing you did that mistake now you've realize.
Labels: Three Cheers For Five Years
8:08 PM
2:08 AM
Friday, June 5, 2009
W36G was rocking and rolling since Wednesday till today. We booked a chalet at Costa Sands and it was hell of fun. The chalet was 3days and 2nights. My poly peeps are superb and way different from my secondary bunch. I think we're fated to be in one class as every single one of us was once heartbroken and we let it out. We had great fun as we played truth or dare and YES ! FOOLISH QUESTIONS WAS BOMBARDED ! after that we had a walk at the beach accompanied with the breeze. longggggggggggggggggggggggg storyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. I had shot some visuals but have not upload it. Will do real soonnnnnnnnn. =)Labels: W36G IS SUPERBBBBBBBBB
9:32 PM
">
