Sunday, May 31, 2009
regaining the lost time.
Last night was not like the other nights. Picking up all the lost pieces and joining it altogether. It's just the nature of every human being that when the one you've always wanted to spent every moment with, left, then will we have the sense of regret. I know you're sorry for what you did but i still can't bring myself to forgive you wholeheartedly. Something is pulling me back and that is fear. I fear that you'll just walk away again and all i can do is just stare at the footsteps that you've carved while you're walking and leaving me with just tears. Even how much i try to reach you, i fear i can't. I love you too much. TOO MUCH.
With you, everything seems right. Last night, again, a promised. Will it be genuine this time ? Please let it be real. I really want just you and me to be the way we used to be. I've missed the time when you held me in yours arms with full of love. I really feel you last night. I've missed those eyes glimmering when you say you love me. And after such a long ride with full of humps, last night, i see that in your eyes. Your warmth wrapping up my body was what i've waited. Spending the night just with you was enough to alter everything. I don't want to just have another night and another dream wasted on you. The passionate kissed on my forehead is now plastered there. I've always believed that when a guy kissed you on the forehead passionately, it's enough to prove that he loves.
You smile and watch me shut my eyes and sleep. You held my hands when i shut my eyes. You kissed my forehead when i was partially awake after a bad dream and soon after the kissed, i went back to sleep again cause thats what i needed. I need to feel you then will i be at ease and get back to my sleep. You watch me sleep and did not even wake me up though you were lonely. All you say when i asked why didn't you wake me up was,
"i know you're tired after a long day at school with that heavy bag clinging on your shoulder"
"watching you smile while you're in that deep sleep is enough to accompany me"
(All i can respond to that is, smile and just lay on his chest and hugged him tight.)This relationship has too many downturn and we've suffered. Even after i gain you, i still feel lost. I lost your love. I don't feel your love no more but after last night, our first night together after a super long time, i'm starting to see that love coming. The lack of communication and the foolish mistakes i made, taught me enough. I thought five years and just love was enough for this relationship but i then realised that this relationship lacks alot of the most essential factors. I've learned.
5:17 AM
">