Saturday, June 27, 2009
I am totally pressurized.
Everday is tears for me.
I'm torn.
Not with monty.
He's altering a lot since that nightmare that befalls him recently
though a lot of his past dark secrets is still haunting
and tearing me,
he's slowly proving to me.
I'm trying to move on with him without that dark secret ruining everything.
To add to my misery,
I can't be with the man i love for ETERNITY.
I totally don't have a say in this family.
I detest being an ARAB GIRL.
I so do.
Being an arab, you have the features but you don't have the last say.
Everything is already decided for you and you can't change that fact.
I can't even be happy with a guy even if it could last for a while.
Why can't they accept him ?
Just because of his flaws ?
Do you guys think that he wants to be like that ?
He can sometimes be a jerk but i love him and only this jerk can fill me with contentment.
He is not the only jerk.
There are more worst jerks out there who has worst past and keeping it in the dark.
I wish i can open my gap and blurt this question out to my parents,
Can good-looks, dollars and highly qualified guy promise me contentment ?
There is no perfect guy in this world is there ?
If there is, why are there still cases of broken families, divorce cases, abused, raped, heartbreaks.
Why can't they let me make this mistake if it unfortunantely is even a mistake.
Let me learn.
If i don't feel heartbroken now, when can i learn ?
When i'm married then ending up divorced ?
I just want my family to have a seat with him and get to know him before judging him physically.
But it will never happen.
NEVER.
I can't end this relationship because it will be unfair to him.
My family don't even give me time to end it.
I'm forced to end it NOW after building it up for nearly 6 years.
Can you readers feel my heart shattering?
Caught in between family and love.
What should i do ?
6:55 PM
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